Forbidden
by Misha
Summary: Two friends begin a secret, forbidden relationship, though they know it can never be...
1. A Forbidden Kiss

A Forbidden Kiss   
By Michelle 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. ÊI'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands.   
Author's Notes- This switches back and forth from Sam and Donna's PoV's and it is kind of a Sam/Donna fic, but thereÕs also a hint of Josh and Donna. You'll have to read it to see what I mean, but all Josh/Donna shippers be assured, I'm not messing with them. Well, at least not yet. Anyway, that's all, so enjoy.   
Couples: Sam/Donna, a little bit Josh/Donna   
Spoilers: Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail.   
Rating: PG-13 

"You guys, I'm going to tell C.J where we're going and then wait around for Sam." I told Josh and Toby as we left the Communications bullpen. 

Josh stopped and looked at me in surprise. "Are you sure?" 

I nodded. "Yeah. I just don't think he should be alone." 

I didn't add that I also wanted to talk to him about what happened earlier. For some reason, I didn't really want to tell Josh about that. It was a private moment between Sam and I, and it wasn't any of Josh's business. 

Josh just grinned, completely oblivious to the motive behind my suggestion. "Ah. You've gone from baby-sitting me to baby-sitting Sam, huh?" 

"Yeah," I told him lightly, "he doesn't grouch as much." 

Not that Josh's grouching really bothered me any more, it had grown on me. Mainly because it was an integral part of his character, he wouldn't be Josh if he didn't grouch. 

"Yeah, but we both know you find my grouching endearing." Josh said smugly. 

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Joshua." I said in a dead-pan voice. 

He pretended to look hurt and was about to say something else, when Toby stopped him. "Can we just go?" He interupted. "You and Donna can banter more later, because I for one would like to get out of this place." 

Josh pouted, but allowed Toby to drag him away after making me promise not to be too long. 

I smiled as I watched them go and then I headed towards C.J's office. From what I'd heard about her day, I knew she'd really need the drink.   
* * * * * 

The phone call with my father didn't last long, things were still too awkward between us to lead to a long conversation. I knew that would have to happen eventually, but at that moment I wasn't ready. 

As I exited the building, I saw Donna waiting for me. 

"Hey." I said in surprise. 

"Hey." She greeted. "I thought I'd stick around so you didn't have to walk there alone." 

I smiled at the example of how great a person Donna is, she's always doing things for others. Even what happened earlier today was only because she wanted to help a friend. 

"Thanks." I said quietly as we began walking towards the exit. 

"Sam," she began after a long moment of silence, "I really am sorry about what happened earlier." 

"It's okay." I told her quietly. "Donna, it wasn't you I was angry at, I realise that you only said what you did because you wanted to help Stefanie. I was just upset over a lot of things and I took it out on you, and I shouldn't have." 

"It's okay." She told me softly, reaching out and squeezing my hand. "I understand and I want you to know that I'm here for you." 

"Thanks." I said quietly, giving her hand another squeeze before letting it go. 

We walked in silence for a few minutes and then suddenly Donna stopped. 

"Donna, what's wrong?" I asked turning slightly so that I was right in front of her and looking her directly in the face. 

Donna smiled. "Nothing. I was just admiring the sky. It is pretty, isn't it?" It really was. 

"Yeah." I agreed softly. "It is." 

Suddenly, my eyes stopped looking at the sky and instead started looking directly into Donna's. Before I understood what was happening, I had my arm wrapped around her and our lips had met. 

I was kissing Donna.   
* * * * * 

I don't even know what happened, one moment we were looking at the sky and the next... We were kissing. 

It was a nice kiss and for a moment it was like no one on Earth existed except Sam and I. 

Even when we broke the kiss, we stood there for a long moment, with his arm still around my waist, still looking into each other's eyes. 

I don't think either of us wanted the moment to end, but of course it did and the spell was broken. We pulled away quickly and then looked into each other's eyes again. 

There were so much I wanted to say to him, but I couldn't get it out. I didn't know what to say, how to react. 

But I did know that as much as I liked the kiss, it couldn't happen again and we both knew it. There was just too much keeping us apart, or more accurately, one thing. One very important thing.   
* * * * * 

When I looked into Donna's eyes again, I saw that she too realised why the kiss was wrong and why it could never happen again. 

Josh. 

Donna loved him and he loved her, though he was too dense to realise it yet. I had watched them for the last three years and I knew what they had was the real thing and I didn't want to come between that. 

Not that I could have if I wanted to, because Donna's heart belongs to Josh and nothing would change that. And even if it did... Nothing could happen, because we'd end up hurting Josh and neither of us would ever do that. 

So even though it was only just a kiss, it was best for everyone if we pretended that it never happened. 

"Donna." I began quietly, breaking the silence.   
* * * * * 

"Sam, I understand." I told him softly, knowing exactly what he wanted to say. "We just have to forget this ever happened." 

It was definitely for the best, after all otherwise things could get awkward. But at the same time, I felt a pang of regret. It would have been nice to see if anything could happen, but at the same time I knew that was impossible. 

Because of Josh. I love him and I know that if anything happened between Sam and I, it would hurt him. And I never want to do that, so there's only one thing I can do. Pretend that the kiss never happened. 

"Yeah." Sam agreed. "Are you okay with that?" 

"I have to be." I told him. "It's for the best." 

"Yeah." He said again as we continued to walk. 

We walked in silence, neither of us sure what to say. 

"Donna?" He said as we reached the bar. 

"Yeah?" 

"It was a nice kiss." 

I smiled and walked into the bar where Josh and the others were waiting for us. We shared one last look and then joined the others and proceeded to begin forgetting about what had happened. 

Or at least we began to try. 

The End


	2. So Hard to Forget

So Hard to Forget   
By Misha 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. ÊI'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands. 

Author's Notes- Okay this is the second in the "Forbidden Series" and it follows "A Forbidden Kiss". Like the first one, this switches back and forth from Sam and Donna's PoV's and it is kind of a Sam/Donna fic, but there's also a hint of Josh and Donna. You'll have to read it to see what I mean. Anyway, that's all, so enjoy. 

Couples: Sam/Donna, a little bit Josh/Donna 

Spoilers: 17 People. 

Rating: PG-13   
--- 

"They are beautiful aren't they?" Donna asked me as I stood beside her desk, waiting for her to grab her things and go. 

It was 3 a.m and we were finally leaving the office. We had found the funny at last. 

Anyway, Donna's car was in the shop, so she had gotten a ride in with Carol that morning, but of course Carol had long since gone home. Donna had originally offered to take a cab home, but at this time at night that wasn't a particularly safe option. 

Josh had been planning on giving her a ride home himself. But I live so closer, so I offered. So, that was why I was standing there waiting for Donna to grab her things. 

I was acutely aware of the fact that this was the first time we had allowed ourselves to be alone together since the kiss. We had spent time together since, of course. It would have been impossible for us not to, but this is the first time it was just the two of us. 

And suddenly I couldn't get the moment out of my head. All I could think about was how great it was to kiss her. 

Suddenly, I realized Donna had asked me a question and I blinked. "Huh?" 

"The flowers." She said with a smile, rolling her eyes. 

I guess she attributed my distraction to lack of sleep. Which is good. I didn't need to know why I was so out of it. After all, that ship has sailed. It was already leaving port when the moment happened and now it's long gone. 

"Yeah." I said finally. "They're beautiful. Are you still upset at Josh?" 

Donna shook her head. "Nah. In his own way he meant way, besides it's kind of sweet." 

"The fact that you two have this argument every year?" I asked with raised eyebrows. 

Donna shook her head. "No. The fact that me leaving upset him enough that he doesn't even want to remember it." 

"You mean a lot to him." I told her. We both knew that I meant as more than just his assistant. 

Her sad smile proved that. "I know." She said quietly. "He means a lot to me too." 

My own smile is slightly sad. "I know." I told her. "That's why things are the way they are."   
* * * * * 

"Yeah." I agreed, knowing instantly what Sam was referring to. "Because they have to be." 

I looked into his eyes and for a long moment we were frozen there, and I know that that kiss was replaying in both our of minds. 

Finally, Sam looked away. "We should go." He told me. 

"Yeah." I agreed, grabbing my stuff. "We should." 

We turned and walked in silence out of the building. Normally the silence would bother me, I'm not the type of person who really enjoys silence, but right then it was a blessing. 

All I could think about was Sam and what had happened between us. It was wrong, I know that. But... It was all I could think about for days. I really care about Josh, I don't know what I'd do without him, but... I felt so alive when I kissed Sam. And for days I desperately wanted to do it again. 

Even though I knew that I couldn't.   
* * * * * 

The ride to Donna's building was just as silent as the walk to the car had been. Neither of us said a word, we were both too busy being lost in thought. When we got to her building, we both got out of the car. 

It was then that Donna turned to look at me. "You don't have to walk me to the door." 

"I know." I told her. "But I want to. I'd feel better." 

"Alright." She agreed. 

We entered the building and a few minutes later we were standing in front of her door. 

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" She asked as she unlocked the door. 

"Sure." I agreed, following her inside. I knew that it wasn't the wisest idea given the thoughts that had been running through my head, but I couldn't help myself. 

Donna entered the kitchen and I leaned against the door frame as I waited for her to make the coffee. 

"Hey Donna!" I called after a moment, suddenly remembering something. 

"Yeah?" She calledback. 

"Where are the demon cats?" 

Donna snorted. "They should be asleep in Carrie's room, but for the record, they're just ordinary cats." 

"Ordinary cats who have problems with Josh." I corrected her. 

"Sam, as most of Washington would tell you, having a problem with Josh is pretty ordinary." Donna told me as she brought the coffee over to me. 

"True." I agreed, taking the coffee from her. "You know, Josh would have a fit if he knew you brought me coffee." 

"There's a lot of things Josh would have fit over if he knew, but that he doesn't have to know." She told me huskily. 

Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned over and put the coffee on the nearest clear surface and pulled Donna into my arms. I needed to kiss her.   
* * * * * 

My brain kept telling me how wrong it was, but it just wasn't registering. It felt so right to be in Sam's arms, kissing him again. It felt like it was what was meant to be. 

But I knew that it wasn't. As attracted as I was to Sam Seaborn, we didn't have a future. 

Even though nothing had happened between us yet, I knew that my future was going to be with another man. I knew that eventually, probably sometime after reelection, Josh and I would get together. 

I've had feelings for Josh for a long time. I love him. 

But... On the other hand, it was so good when Sam and I kissed. It was like heaven. 

But I knew it could only last a moment. This wasn't supposed to be happening, we were supposed to be forgetting this, repeating it. Yet it was happening and neither one of us wanted to stop, but eventually we had to. 

We broke the kiss and I stepped away from him. 

"This can never happen again." I said quietly. "Can it?"   
* * * * * 

"No." I told her. "It can't. But unfortunately, that didn't stop us before." 

"No," she agreed, "it didn't." 

"So where do we go from here?" 

Donna took a deep breath. "Nowhere." She said sadly. "There's nowhere it can go, is there?" 

"No." I agreed after a long moment. "There isn't. Not without hurting Josh and neither of us want to do that." 

"I love him, Sam." She said softly. 

The words hurt. I know they shouldn't, after all I've know it for years. I knew the first time I met her that something was going to happen between her and Josh and I've been waiting for years for Josh to open his eyes and realize what was right in front of him. 

But all that was before I kissed her. Now... All I could thing about was how good it felt to hold her in my arms and how awful it felt to remember why I couldn't. 

"I know." I told her finally. "And I know that because of that this can never happen. You two are supposed to be together, we aren't." 

"Yeah." She agreed sadly. She smiled slightly. "But sometimes you have to wish that things could be different." 

I had to agree with that one. 

The End 


	3. A Comforting Touch

A Comforting Touch   
By Misha 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. I'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands. 

Author's Notes- Okay this is the third in the "Forbidden Series" and it follows "So Hard to Forget". Like the first two, this switches back and forth from Sam and Donna's PoV's and it is kind of a Sam/Donna fic, but there's also a hint of Josh and Donna. You'll have to read it to see what I mean. Anyway, that's all, so enjoy. 

Couples- Sam/Donna, a little bit Josh/Donna 

Spoilers- The Fall's Gonna Kill You. 

Summery- After Sam learns about the President's MS, he turns to Donna for comfort. 

Rating: PG-13   
--- 

I can't believe it. President Bartlett has MS. The President lied to us. 

As soon as he told me, I began to feel as if the world had come crashing down around me. I made my way out of the Oval in a daze. 

I remembered Toby telling me that he would be in his office if I needed him, but I didn't head that way. Instead, almost against my will, I headed towards Josh's office, hoping that Donna would still be at her desk. 

I knew that I couldn't tell her what was wrong, yet I still hoped I could find comfort there. 

It was crazy, this thing between Donna and I, I knew that. Yet, right then I needed her. And I didn't care that what was happening between us was wrong and that we shouldn't be together. 

All that mattered was that she could make me feel better. She had to. Even if she didn't know what was wrong.   
* * * * * 

I was packing up for the night when Sam appeared by my desk. 

"Hey Sam." I greeted with a smile, then I saw his face. "What's wrong?" 

"I can't tell you." He said quietly. "But, Donna, can we go somewhere together? I can't be alone right now?" 

I studied him for a moment and then nodded. I understood. Whatever it was, there was something big going on. I had seen it in Toby's eyes, Josh's, CJ's, and now Sam's. 

And I had listened to Josh talk about nothing in particular for several hours when he first found out about whatever it was. I had comforted him, even though I had no clue what was going on. 

And now I would do the same for Sam. Not because the thing between us, whatever it was, but because he needed me. Just like Josh needed me. 

"Let's go." I said with a smile, grabbing my coat and purse.   
* * * * * 

"Thank you." I told her quietly as we left the building. 

"It's okay." She said with a smile. "Where do you want to go?" 

"Do you mind if we go to my place?" I suggested. "I'm not up for being around a lot of people." 

"Of course." She said quietly. "Do you want me to meet you there or...?" 

"I'll drive you." I told her. "And then, later, I'll drive you back for your car." 

"Okay." She said with a smile. 

The drive to my place was done mostly in silence until Donna decided she'd have enough of it. 

"Sam, did you know that a Chinese satellite-" She began. 

I smiled. I had heard about this. I also decided enough was enough. Donna shouldn't have to provide free entertainment any longer. 

"Donna, those satellites fall all the time. It's no big deal." 

She sat there for a second, staring at me shock.   
* * * * * 

I'm going to kill Joshua Lyman. That was my first thought when I heard Sam's words. 

Josh had to know what was going on, everyone had to know what was going on. Yet, they all let me babble on like an idiot. I couldn't believe it. I felt so humiliated. 

"Oh, God." I said quietly. 

Sam smiled. "It's okay, Donna." He assured me. "Everyone acts like an idiot once in a while, today was just your turn." 

"Gee, thanks." I said sarcastically. "I'm going to kill Josh. Seriously." 

"Don't, you'd be out of a job." He said with a smile. 

I laughed. "True. Still... I am going to pay him back. Just wait and see." 

Sam grinned. "I can't wait." 

I was glad to see Sam smiling because it meant that he wasn't focusing as much on what had happened. 

I continued to make light conversation all the way to his apartment, just to keep his mind off what was bothering him. When we got there and walked to his door, he turned to me. 

"Do you want to watch a movie?" 

I smiled and nodded. "That'd be great, thanks."   
* * * * * 

We entered the apartment and I allowed her to choose the movie as I grabbed us each a can of pop from the fridge and made some popcorn. 

I wasn't in the mood for alcohol and I didn't think Donna was either. I knew that she had to be aware that something was going on, so she was probably pretty tense as well. 

Still, I was determined not to think about that. Not right now anyway. 

I went back into the living room and handed her the pop and set the popcorn on the table. 

"What movie did you pick?" I asked. 

"The Philadelphia Story, with Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and Jimmy Stewart." She told me happily. 

I smiled, that was one of my favourite old movies, and sat down on the couch, motioning for Donna to join me. 

She did, laying her head on my shoulder, much to my surprise. 

I just smiled again, knowing that while this shouldn't be happening it was, and taking comfort in her touch. I needed her right now and she was there, that was all that mattered. 

The End 


	4. I Need You

I Need You   
By Misha 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. ÊI'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands. 

Author's Notes- Okay this is the fourth in the "Forbidden Series" and it follows "A Comforting Touch". Like the first three, this switches back and forth from Sam and Donna's PoV's and it is a Sam/Donna fic, but there's also a hint of Josh and Donna. You'll have to read it to see what I mean. Also, this one is set part way through "18th and Potomac", right after Toby talks to Donna. There'll be another story later dealing with Mrs. Landigham's death, but at this point, it hasn't happened yet. Anyway, that's all, so enjoy. 

Couples- Sam/Donna, a little bit Josh/Donna 

Spoilers- 18th and Potomac. 

Summery- After Toby tells Donna about the President's MS, Donna goes to Sam for comfort. 

Thanks- To Clare for beta-reading. 

Rating: PG-13   
--- 

Oh, God. The President has MS. Those words just kept repeating in my head. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe what was happening. 

No wonder Josh had looked so out of it lately. He was just waiting for everything to explode around us, after all that was all we could do. 

Wait. Wait to see what happened next. Wait and watch as our dream crumbled around us. It didn't seem fair, but that was what was going to happen. 

Everything we had spent the last three and a half years fighting for was going to fall apart because the President kept one secret. 

It wasn't fair. I didn't know what to do, who to talk to. 

Josh was out of the office, doing stuff for tobacco. Besides, I couldn't talk to him. I needed time to pull myself together before I saw him, he couldn't see me ready to fall apart. He needed me to be strong for him, so I would be. 

But, still, right now I needed someone to talk to. Who? 

Then I realized who it had to be. Sam. He'd be there for me. He'd comfort me and be my friend. Not because of the thing that had been happening between us, but because he was. 

I knew that he had been busy in meetings all week, and now I understoond why, but I hopped he'd be free right then.   
* * * * * 

I had just left Mrs., no Dr., Bartlett alone with Oliver Babbish and gone back to my office for a moment of peace and quiet, when Donna appeared at my door. 

I only had to look at her face to realize that she knew. And just like I needed her when I found out, now she needed me. 

I got up and closed the door, then, without a word, I took her into my arms and held her. She rested her head on my shoulder and I rubbed her back. Neither of us spoke, we just stood there for a long moment, taking comfort from one another. 

Finally, she pulled away from me. "Thank you." She said softly. 

"It's the least I could do." I told her. "You know, don't you?" 

She nodded. "Yeah. Toby told me." 

I stared at her in surprise. "Toby? But... Why didn't Josh tell you?" 

"I don't know." Donna told me quietly. "But I'm glad he didn't. I'm glad he's not going to see me like this. When Josh sees me, I need to be strong. For him." 

I wasn't sure whether to be hurt or flattered by words. On one hand, I was flattered that she felt that she could show weakness around me that she didn't feel she had to be strong. 

But at the same time, it hurt because I knew that the reason she needed to be strong for Josh was that she loved him and that she didn't want him to worry about her.   
* * * * * 

I could see from Sam's face, that my words had evoked a mixed reaction in him. That he was flattered as well as hurt and I could understand why. 

"Sam," I said quietly, "can you hold me again? Can we just forget about everything right now? Just for a moment." 

He smiled. "Sure." 

He held out his arms and I went into them willingly. I took comfort in his embrace and for a moment all my problems were forgotten. 

But I knew that they'd be back. That in a moment I'd once again have to deal with everything. 

But right then, I was safe from it. It was just me and Sam. And while that was problematic in it's self, at that moment it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Not the President, not Josh, not this thing between Sam and I. 

All that mattered was that I needed someone to comfort me and Sam was there. 

The End 


End file.
